Signs Your Ex Is Over You and has Moved On

Breakups are difficult, messy, and rarely simple. Since feelings don’t just disappear when we want them to, it’s only normal to question whether there was something you or your partner could have done—even a modest gesture or commitment—to save the relationship and prevent all of this suffering.

People who have recently broken up with someone frequently spend a great deal of mental resources attempting to determine whether their ex still has feelings for them. While it might be challenging, if not impossible, to determine whether your ex is over you or not, it is worthwhile to consider whether there are any crucial signs to watch out for.

We spoke with three dating gurus, two people who went through challenging, protracted break-ups, and three people to better understand the indications that your ex has moved on. Here is what they said.

What Being ‘Over’ Someone Means

We must first comprehend what it means to actually be “over” an ex in order to fully comprehend when someone moves on, how it happens, and what it looks like.

It’s less a hint that you’ll never have another romantic relationship with this person, says dating specialist Marisa T. Cohen, Ph.D., and more a sign that they’re not stopping you from looking for someone else.

“Being over someone means that you are no longer emotionally invested in them to the extent that it is causing you to put other relationships (or the pursuit of finding new relationships) on hold,” explains Cohen. If you had a close, loving relationship with your ex, you might always feel emotionally connected to them.

For psychiatrist Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., and author of “Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today,” it’s also about escaping the depressing post-breakup space connected to your ex.

“Being over someone means that you’re no longer in emotional turmoil or pain about the relationship, you’ve grieved, and that you’re open to new things in your life,” she explains.

It doesn’t imply that you don’t regret anything or that you don’t give a damn about the other person. Instead, it indicates that you’re moving on and concentrating on other aspects of your life, freeing up a lot of emotional space from the past relationship.

Seeing an ex you still talk to can be bittersweet, but it can also help you move on, as Jennifer, one of the people I spoke to about a traumatic breakup, told me.

There are a few indicators that are rather excellent proof that your ex has genuinely moved on:

1. Decreasing communication

Relationships are based on interactions, thus there isn’t truly a connection if you aren’t in touch in some way, whether it be in person, on the phone, or elsewhere. Therefore, after you break up with someone, your chats usually become less frequent and shorter.

The fact that someone continues to communicate with an ex after a split, though, may indicate that one or both partners aren’t yet totally over their relationship.

According to John Oladokun, it’s common for one or both ex-partners to maintain contact through texting or talking after the breakup. If your ex has stopped texting you ridiculous things like, “Hey, you… It’s an indication that you’re in their rear-view mirror if they stop asking you how your day was and stop sharing life updates with you.

2. Conversations become less enjoyable

The frequency and intensity of two people’s discussions can also decrease with time. Even if you may be discussing the same amount, if these conversations get less enjoyable with time, it may be an indication that your ex is no longer interested in the relationship.

The lack of flirting in your texting and messaging, according to Barrett, is another indication that things have ended with them. Without the humor, teasing, or humorous banter that occurs when two people are romantically engaged with one another, all conversations are logical and informative.

John Oladokun, a different person I spoke with who experienced a painful breakup, recognized that.

Even though they were still having sex, his ex no longer saw them as a romantic couple, which was an obvious indication that their emotional connection had ended.

3. Conversations Become Less Uncomfortable

Your interactions might improve, which is another indication that your ex has moved on.

Despite the fact that this is more likely to occur after a protracted period of silence soon following the split, a positive change in tone or frequency of communication could be misinterpreted as your ex desiring to reconcile. Actually, it indicates that they have dealt with their feelings surrounding the split and are prepared to be friendly.

According to Tessina, if your ex is still in touch with you and isn’t anymore resenting, blaming, or stalking you, they’re probably over you. “Your ex is obviously over you if they are willing to be friends, especially with the new person you are dating. Your ex is probably over you if they haven’t spoken to you in a while.

That might be the start of a beautiful friendship with your ex, depending on your emotional state. It could also be tragic.

4. They Start Dating Someone Else Seriously

The onset of a meaningful relationship with someone else may be the only indication that your ex is truly over you.

While it’s possible to still yearn for your ex when you first begin dating after a split, generally speaking, the deeper you get into a meaningful relationship, the less likely it is that you will miss your ex (or exes), since the new person in your life will take center stage.

“One surefire way that they’re done with you is when your ex has a serious relationship with someone else. They are no longer only going on dates; they are also seeing someone.’ If they begin sharing ‘couple-y’ photographs on social media, you’ll be able to tell.

However, as John pointed out, even going on casual dates can be an indication that a significant change has taken place.

How to Handle Your Ex Being Over You

If any of the aforementioned indicators apply to you, your ex may be completely over you, and that’s okay.

It may be difficult to picture a situation in which someone who was previously so important to you simply doesn’t hold you in their heart in that way anymore if you’re one of the many, many people who don’t want their ex-partner to have moved on just yet.

However, as Tessina points out, it’s time for you to start embracing the future.

“You must let them go,” she counsels. “The bond you shared with this ex has ended. You’ll need to start a completely new relationship on new terms because the previous one is over if your ex returns later.

So how does that appear?

“When you see each other, be distantly friendly,” she advises. Never try to solve your ex’s unsolved relationship problems. Let it go. Don’t disparage your ex in front of close friends. They’ll find out, and you’ll seem foolish. Shift your attention to the future.

John concurred that the ideal strategy for accepting the fact that your ex has moved on is to look ahead, and it might even turn out to be beneficial in your life.

“Face it — it’s going to hurt if your ex moves on first,” he advises. But you may consider it as a form of gift. Reconnecting with friends and family will help you avoid social isolation because doing so will keep your emotions in check. Keep your phone away from images of you and your ex and stay away from places where the two of you have been together to avoid being reminded of your relationship. And when you’re prepared, start fresh by dating once more. The key to getting over anything is to move on.

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John Davidson

Man, Husband, Father, Uncle. We all know what we're doing. Reality-based. The truth hurts & heals, Relationship advice expert.

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